⓪③ ; He is already here

[docfoul]

At times, my omniscience allows me to experience a sensation very few of you could possibly understand. That being the case, I will not even try to explain it to you. Today is an excellent day. Would anyone care for some candy? I have your favorite.

Comments

[timey_wimey]

As gloating goes, that's... the most cryptic I've ever seen, actually, give or take one or two really persistent gloaters.

Don't suppose you have Jelly Babies?

[docfoul]

To your right, Doctor.

[timey_wimey]

... blimey, so they are. That's - well, much as I hate to compliment you when you already do that enough on your own, that's quite impressive. You're good, how did you even do that?

[docfoul]

Very easily. Try one, Doctor. You'll find that, as far as jelly babies go, those are simply the best there are.

[timey_wimey]

Yyyyeah, I should have guessed I'd get a cryptic answer like that that doesn't actually mean anything, I mean, how exactly did it work? I'm honestly curious.

These are very good, by the way. I'd be tempted to say brilliant but like I said, your ego's more than big enough already. Besides, you probably already knew I was thinking it, so what'd be the point anyway, eh.

[video]

[material_guy]

What's my favorite?

[It is a legitimate question, not a challenge. He's not really big on candy, but if you're offering things, he'll take them, being Greed.]

[video]

[docfoul]

[You have none in particular.]

[Enjoy Scratch's weird just-sort-of-shows-up-in-your-head voice.]

[video]

[material_guy]

[Eh, it beats having to read.]

You said you had my favorite. Give me my favorite, or all of them. I'll also take all of 'em.

[video]

[docfoul]

[If you have no favorite, then what can I possibly have reserved for you?

Haa haa.
Hee hee.
Hoo hoo.]

[negative-five.livejournal.com]

What happened?

And why is your text different?

[docfoul]

If you were to go to my apartment, you would note that my voice is much more palatable against its décor. This is not my apartment, but it is my journal. I choose to treat it as an extension of my abode. As such, I employ this comfortable background.

[negative-five.livejournal.com]

So you're... redecorating.

[docfoul]

It would be more accurately said that I am keeping the decoration uniform.

[100thbrokendish.livejournal.com]

You're giving away candy? Is it a special occasion?

[docfoul]

It is nothing I didn't see coming. Of course, if that alone were enough to take the joy out of a good day, my incredibly long life would be tedious, indeed.

[100thbrokendish.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what you're referring to.

[docfoul]

It is a personal matter that, if you forgive my bluntness, has nothing to do with you. You certainly seem as if you would like to get involved, though.

[xxxing.livejournal.com]

Holy fuck you are such a creepy pedo.

[docfoul]

I exhibit none of the traits that a child molester would present. The candy should only serve to prove it.

[xxxing.livejournal.com]

You really don't know anything after all, huh? Candy is like the mark of a pedo.

[docfoul]

Candy is the mark of an excellent host, and you will have some. It is too delicious to resist.

[sandinmyboots.livejournal.com]

[IT'S LIKE SOMEONE WALKED ON HIS GRAVE lkasdj;afd]

[HE'S MAKING A RIDICULOUS FACE]

[Also he likes candy with especially strong flavors.]

[docfoul]

Licorice?

[sandinmyboots.livejournal.com]

No! It tastes like tree bark.

[But he'll take it if he can get it. He really likes dark chocolate with hot peppers in it, though.]

[docfoul]

It was only a suggestion. Of all my bottomless supplies, I find that licorice is the one I must keep handy the most. The bowl which is now to your right should contain an even amount of the former and of your favourite.