⓪③ ; He is already here

[docfoul]

At times, my omniscience allows me to experience a sensation very few of you could possibly understand. That being the case, I will not even try to explain it to you. Today is an excellent day. Would anyone care for some candy? I have your favorite.

Comments

[xxxing.livejournal.com]

Holy fuck you are such a creepy pedo.

[docfoul]

I exhibit none of the traits that a child molester would present. The candy should only serve to prove it.

[xxxing.livejournal.com]

You really don't know anything after all, huh? Candy is like the mark of a pedo.

[docfoul]

Candy is the mark of an excellent host, and you will have some. It is too delicious to resist.

[xxxing.livejournal.com]

I won't touch anything you're offering me. 'Sides, you don't have my favourite candy, 'cause I hate candy.

[three years of being forced to eat it for survival will do that to you. besides, she prefers jelly, anyway.]

[docfoul]

The statement I issued was a general one, meant to cover the preferences of most of those who might see this post. I have some jelly prepared for you as well. Afterwards, won over by the richness of this treat, you will try the candy.

[xxxing.livejournal.com]

... Fine, let's ignore how the fuck you know what I like and get to the important shit: Why should I take anything from you?

[docfoul]

Why should you not? If I had any reason to harm you - which I do not - I certainly wouldn't go about it this way.